Everything I Did to Tackle Chronic Pain and What Worked

How I took control of my health post Covid.

Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

In 2016 I spent Christmas in Los Angeles, the prologue to my story of chronic pain. I was staying with a friend who was barely able to walk in recent weeks. I’m so sorry, she said to me daily, feeling bad to not spend more time with me.

I did not know what to say. It felt terrible to see she was suffering without much to offer.

It’s no problem! I told her, Happy taking the bus from Los Feliz to Santa Monica. Two hours of experiencing “real LA” is fun (said no one ever).

I tried to be supportive, not entirely sure what it meant in that context.

I felt helpless watching her suffer through what was more a shark bite than a paper cut. I had also naively thought, Isn’t there a solution to pain? At the time I thought pain killers were the answer. I didn’t understand how it could cut so deep and last so long.

Last spring I called this same friend, during chapter one of my chronic pain journey, and apologized. Not because I had done or said anything wrong, but because I knew that I had not said or done anything right.

Her pain had been a completely foreign language that I didn’t speak at the time. I get it now, I told her.

I was left to navigate severe inflammation after having Covid in March of 2020. Chapter one of my chronic pain journey began with a respiratory virus that shut down the whole world.

It was at the beginning of the pandemic, where the virus that caused my chronic pain was still shrouded in mystery. It was a time taken up by panic and science just telling us stay home.

Friends of mine who had also caught the virus early on, recovering like me, at home with high temperatures, unable to smell or taste were getting better with each Zoom call we had. I was embarrassed to say I wasn’t getting better.

I fretted over sounding dramatic, saying I was fine, instead. What was happening inside my body was a mutation, from a so called “mild version” of the virus, into a daily battle with strange symptoms I couldn’t explain. It was dramatic. It was also terrifying, painful, and felt particularly cruel to have lingered so long.

The stress was, I am certain, a major factor in the amount of time it has taken my body to recover. I took barely any time to rest. I felt a sense of duty to my work. I didn’t want to let people down. If they could do it, so could I, my think was at the time. Not giving gravity to my unique situation. No one else was sick.

I worked harder to compensate for the lack of support at work. The absence of a shared experience, or empathy, made it so that I leaned away from reality, and towards a self serving perception of it. The expectation was that we should all turn off the news and stop feeding into the frenzy.

Did you take a test? Was often the question after asking how I was feeling, so I pretended to be fine.

I wasn’t going to pretend my way out of it, as I learned over the course of months fumbling with self prescribed placebo experiments.

The little comfort I found was through online communities. I had watched the New York Times series on Netflix, Diagnosis earlier that year. Well, I had seen one episode, because it was too tragic. It was enough to recall that collaborating around not knowing is often where answers can be found.

On the news in early April, young people were interviewed struggling with much of what I was. It was announced that they would be health complications for life, chronic pain, shortness of breath.

I do believe in the power of the subconscious to help in the healing process, as esoteric as that may seem to many, there is also scientific proof. One of my favorite TEDTalks looks more closely at this for any skeptics, Is there scientific proof we can heal ourselves? | Lissa Rankin, MD | TEDxAmericanRiviera.

Despite the science, so many medical professionals aren’t trained in this approach, offering support as part of the healing practice they participate in. My telehealth appointments were all the same. Take Ibuprofen.

Though the idea of placebo can be triggering for people in the medical profession, for patients who have not recovered from illness, or those grieving loved ones who have passed to feel gaslighted, I think placebo also offers a road towards hope when there is seemingly no path at all.

As part of my scrappy recovery plan, I would respond, Doing great!. I chose not to identify with my diagnosis. There was an intention to lean in to the mystery of it all, adapt a warrior spirit rather than that of a victim. This in and of itself was hard work at the time.

When lockdown ended in the summer, and hospitals were starting to see more patients, I was hopeful there would be a recovery plan. The diagnosis was Costochondritis, an inflammation of the cartilage on the ribs that mimics the pain of a heart attack according to online health sites, and my body.

I was certain the pain could be managed or disappear completely if I put in some effort to heal. I joined online groups for Costochondritis and Long Haul Covid. There I learned about people suffering for over 20 years with chest inflammation, along with other chronic conditions that many people experienced post Covid. I met other newbies to Costochondritis and we swapped notes on what worked, but mostly what didn’t.

As comforting as it was to have a community, I didn’t want to wallow in the comfort of connectedness and lose sight of my goal: full recovery. Nope. This will not be my story, I proclaimed, after reading peoples’ experience of this illness for 20+ years. Absolutely not, scanning for the fully recovered posts.

After months of little confirmation on recovery, and no medical plan in sight, I was ready to move onto a new path to healing.

Since I wasn’t able to see doctors or have testing until many months later, I created a hodgepodge wellness plan. As I was incredibly motivated to move past this chapter, I researched and learned everything I could about autoimmune disease and viruses.

I learned that costochondritis is a common post viral chronic illness. The symptoms also overlap with those of post Covid: headaches, chest pain, shortness of breath, fatigue. When I was diagnosed, it was difficult to accept that it as the reason why my chest hurt, and why my breathing capacity had diminished. More so because Costochondritis is the diagnosis of elimination. I had had only x rays done on my first visit to the doctor.

Was it reasonable that inflammation caused the pain? Yes. Did we come to this conclusion scientifically? No.

Not yet at least. I didn’t know anything about it when I heard it for the first time, nor did I fully trust that it applied to me at that point. It was scary to the point of being motivating to be in my body under the circumstances I found myself in.

While waiting months for available appointments, hoping for a more thorough diagnosis and treatment plan, I was ready to embrace every form of healing. The vast ecosystem of alternative medicine became my playground. The following are some of what I tried this past year, including traditional appointments:

Ozone Therapy, Elimination diet, Osteopathy, Acupuncture, Massage, Pneumologist, Allergist, Traumatologist, Colon Cleanse, Rehabilitation, Internal Medicine, General Practice, Psychotherapy, Nutritionist, Endocrinologist, Neurologist, Nutritionist, Yoga, Meditation.

I can think a thousand other ways I’d like to spend my time and money. None of them would be as valuable or in line with my sacred vow to banish pain. I knew that for the rest of my life I would come across limitations that would cloud my quality of life and until I did everything I could.

I am not a doctor and I do not claim to be even nearly as knowledgable as they are. I see myself seeker, student, and someone who believes in the power of community when it comes to wellness. I am in no way saying any of the below is the answer. These are just some of the effective changes I’ve made this year.

So what worked?

Clean Diet

Everyone hates this answer. Yes, it makes a difference what you eat. No, everyone doesn’t want to hear about what you eat and why. I have to say that the more I talked about it, the easier it was to follow.

My treatment plan began during confinement, with a clean diet and vitamin and supplement uptake. I had immediately cut out sugar, alcohol, night shades, and introduced inflammation fighting foods, learning what vitamins my body needed. When one vitamin isn’t absorbed, other vitamins don’t work or can be less effective. There was a lot to learn about the cocktail of vitamins, when to take them and how.

It wasn’t until one year later that I was able to fully commit to the strict diet without cheating over a three month period. Sugar was my weak point. After one year with little improvement and still undergoing infrequent tests due lack of appointments, it became easier to commit. There is strong science behind the effects of food on inflammation, both to fight and prevent it.

I read books, articles, signed up for newsletters, listened to podcasts, and read wellness blogs. This information fueled the understanding of my own body through detox and reintroduction of foods.

The more I reinforced this information, the easier it became to not give into temptation. In March of 2021 completed a grueling 6 week elimination diet and learned so much about what my body needed. This time with no cheating, not a small miracle. I felt lighter in my body, and my energy having improved considerably.

The vitamins gave me peace of mind that I wasn’t depriving my body of nutrients. A lot of research went into creating a meal plan and organizing the reintroduction of foods. Had I invested all my money into expensive urine? I would never really know. Good quality vitamins are a sound start when cutting out so many food groups, so I was going to lean into the science that it worked, part of the placebo experiment.

Sleep

The blessing of confinement was that many places were closed. This meant I could go to bed early without a nagging feeling of FOMO. For the first 5 months I went to bed at 10 PM, and then slowly loosened my bedtime to allow and plan to sleep up until midnight. During my elimination diet, to conserve energy and rest, I went back to the 10 PM bedtime.

How do I know this worked? Because when I didn’t get as much sleep my headaches and fatigue were worse. My body just couldn’t process the pain as well. I noticed a considerable difference when I let my body rest. Our circadian rhythms, I learned, have a big part to play in how our immune system functions. Sleep was a free way to give myself a leg up.

Toss the Toxic

I quit a job I liked showing up for everyday. The work was satisfying to me. The culture was not. Leaving a toxic workplace with a grace I was not shown, was one of the most empowering moves of my adult life. I didn’t compromise myself, despite all the challenges I was experiencing personally. I stood up for what I believed is universally right, treating people fairly and with respect.

When I shared about my clean diet and asked for help to balance the workload, I was told I should start drinking. Two days after leaving the hospital I was told that I wasn’t trying hard enough. I was gaslighted about having had Covid because there were no tests in the beginning.

When I asked to take time off, I was told to just take a few days because I would get bored. There were other comments that are too painful to share. As my career coach advised at the time, helping me address some of these issues in a positive and resourceful way, Stop serving champagne at a gas station!

I made myself believe it was normal under the circumstances. All people are struggling, I told myself. it’s a global pandemic, they can’t help it. I realized the difference between making excuses for people, and having empathy during tough times. Empathy is what made me good at what I did. It was hurting me in an environment that didn’t speak the same language.

One of my greatest considerations was, “What advice would I give to a friend in my position?” I asked of myself the same compassion and understanding I would to someone else. There was no better way to take control of my health than to go full time, and no better time to do it. It felt sad to even consider the arbitrary and unfair “gap in resume” ahead of my well being. It would be dishonest.

I felt supported by the realization that my future employer would see my decision as a positive one. I knew I wanted to be part of a company that really valued the well being its employees, their contributions, and offered growth. This was my experience prior to the pandemic, and it would also be my future.

The pandemic brought to light the true values of businesses and individuals. I realized that in liking what I did daily, I was set myself up for a healthy career long term. The lessons I learned as a professional this year were invaluable, and I would take those and my strong work ethic with me. To be fully ready for a future aligned with my professional goals, I needed to be proactive about where my energy was focused. I surrendered to my reality.

Ozone Therapy

There is no quick fix to feel great, but Ozone comes pretty close. In order to help heal my digestive system where most of our immune system lives, I chose not to take any painkillers in a year. I had been prescribed the highly addictive but effective valium to manage the pain, or told to take ibuprofen. Both having side effects that are counter to healing the problem, but somewhat helpful to manage the pain. It might sound extreme to endure pain like that, but I’m on a mission for long term sustainable results. Relying on medication that weakens my body’s defenses is counter productive, regardless of the short term benefits.

Ozone helps restore the body’s balance and clean house when it comes to the immune system. When the body is dealing with inflammation, it is using more oxygen. Your body also needs oxygen to fight inflammation. I was shocked that such a simple concept and effective treatment is so little known and used, adding a natural gas “Ozone” which has an extra molecule of oxygen to the bloodstream.

You can learn more about the therapy here. What I experienced with Ozone was instant mental clarity and energy. There was no denying it’s effectiveness. It costs about 100 euros per session and takes 10 sessions to see long term results. In contrast to the long term spend on chronic illness, this was an investment I was willing to make.

Tackle Trauma

This is a lifestyle. For me it means exercise, breathing, meditation, journaling, therapy, yoga and massage. Checking in with myself and making time to disconnect is another form of instant relief from any unavoidable draining moments. One of the authors I discovered is Dr. Gabor Mate, author of “When the Body Says No” and other similar books that dissect the relationship between physical pain and really all illness, to trauma. He takes a holistic approach to treating pain, one that looks to the root of the problem to cure, drawing a strong connection with how our emotional state affects our physical well being.

Similar to the technique to reinforce difficult habits to break through reading, I’ve picked up a lot of books and drew from other resources to really drill down the importance of reducing stress. Sometimes this can be to simply ask myself the question, “Am I choosing peace?”. This helps remind me that I have a choice in what I focus on and to check in with how my thoughts affect how I feel in my body. I know from this practice that when I take long deep breaths and think positive thoughts, my body chemistry experiences a seemingly magic shift to a more energized state. I may still have discomfort, but I am able to manage and respond to it much better.

I realize how fortunate I am to be able to take time off and explore different avenues to heal. I include gratitude as part of my healing process because it helps me focus what is real and good. I have more balance in my days, prioritizing my health with small and major changes.

Repeatedly saying no to a glass of wine and sweets in Spain is a muscle I’ve developed, not a decision that came easily. With all of the changes I’ve made there have been huge lessons on what matters, where to focus my energy, and what type of person I want to be.

Taking control of my health has empowered me with more knowledge, confidence, and hope than I ever had before. Taking control doesn’t represent curing a health condition. To me it means having agency over how I respond to conditions, if I’m doing everything science has to offer to improve my quality of life. I do believe in full recovery, but it’s the intention to take steps forward, connect with people, and discover new avenues on what healing means, are what taking control has meant to me.